Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
