he shaved USA in his pubs
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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