When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
