I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Are my feet made of real feet?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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