They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize