You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We just shotgunned beers for America
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
