I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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