i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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