That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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