When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
