whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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