True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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