This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
