Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
