addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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