hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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