I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize