I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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