We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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