Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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