Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize