I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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