Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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