I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
