Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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