I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
my poor anus
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
