(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
A bitchslap is in order.
And then he peed in my hair
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
