Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
