3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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