I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
