the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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