I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
