the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
