i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
