:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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