You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
