HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
