I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
