Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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