no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
