She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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