maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
