I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
