My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
