Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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