Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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