My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
