I skipped work to stalk him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
