And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
