no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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