Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
