Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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