these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
