I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize