How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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