Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
