So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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