I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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