I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
