I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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