Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize