hell yes lets make some ravioli
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
