i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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