oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
