If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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