you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
