worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
