I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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