It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
