I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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