did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
