i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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