So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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