Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
