Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
