whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As shirtless as possible
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
