oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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