so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize